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Post by MooiKasteel.Com »

FLIGHT OF THE FLYPLANE STEALTH is MooiKasteel's answer to Top Gun, Hots Shots Part Deux and whatever such movies featuring jets and pilots and whatever. Why waste 5 hours or more of your precious time and whatever amount of money to watch aforementioned movies, when you can get the same thrill watching this great piece of lifechanging cinema!

If I recall correctly, I made the movie after buying an $60 DV video camera, and wanted to make something with it right away. Yes, this was still in the days when filmmaking excited me like chocolate cigarettes now would.

The making of the movie however did not come without pain. Most everything worked out fine, but then came the part I filmed with me wearing the helmet.

That helmet is actually a child's helmet for a motorcycle. Or BMX. Or I don't know really what is its deal, but when I tried to put it on, it was completely too small. My head would not fit at all through the opening at the bottom. No way no how.

So, what to do? I need to carry on with this shoot. Shall I just bite on my teeth and force it onto my head? I mean I need the shot right now. There isn't time to sukkel with it now.

So I did.

OH CRAP NO IT HURT!!!!!!!! Forcing my head into it was the most excruciatingly painful thing I had done in a while. I wondered if I didn't get brain damage.

But, once my head was through the hole and in, I could do the shot.

So I did.

BUT THEN, ............................... yes, you guessed it - came the part where I had to take it off.

UNHOLY CRAP ON A STICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was even more painful than one can imagine in one's craziest nightmares.

I later on realised my head is now stuck inside the helmet forever. These things are made hard so they can't be easily broken, and the only other way I could think of was to use a grinder and grind through the helmet.

But grind so close to my head? No, best I just keep beating it with a brick until it breaks after 5 hours of beating it with a brick.

No, none of those solutions were practical.

Soooooo, what remains? Pulling on it and pulling harder and harder until my head finally comes out?

Seems that's the only solution.

So I pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled and pulled until the pain was unbearable. Getting my jaw and chin out was excruciating, but it felt like my nose is being torn and broken as I forced the helmet past them.

The pain was insane. I'm not playing.

Finally I thought I was going to pass out, but by then I had forced the helmet past everything and now I just need to get my nose out somehow but the pain was now permanent as the pressure was severe around my head, and I thought dying might be the only way out of it now. But then how am I going to finish this movie?

So back and forth I try to force the helmet and twist it and I don't even know what, but the entire thing was a nightmare.

Finally after I don't know how long, it seemed very slowly but surely I was getting more of my nose out of it. Now the excruciating pain was in my ears, as my ears feel like they're being torn off as I'm forcing the helmet past them.

Probably one of the biggest nightmare scenarios I ever had to live through.

Bottom line, and I beg each and every one of you: NEVER, EVER, EVER stick your head into a hole that's too small for it. Whether it be a helmet or whatever. It's extremely painful to try and get out of it again. At times I thought I was going to get braindamage whatwith all the pressure on my skull.

And then finally the damn thing was off and I could inspect in the mirror what was left of my ears and nose.

Not one of my finest moments.

Well, sad about the helmet fiasco, but I got the shot so I guess there's at least that small bit of consolation. I really need a much bigger helmet in my props department. This thing is a torture trap.

Well the rest of the shoot and edit seemed to go fine.

And then I uploaded it onto youtube and for some reason it was an immediate success. This was still in the days when you could upload something to youtube, come back the next day, and find it has been viewed quite a lot of times. These days you do not get much if any easy views anymore. Sad.

People loved it and left very favorable comments. Thought it was the coolest joke in the history of coolest jokes.

Well I removed it from youtube later to add it to a collection I was submitting to some kind of distribution platform. Can't even remember what happened with that so I don't believe anything much.

So, today, I'm uploading the 2021 version for your enjoyment.

ENJOY, LANDLUBBERS!!! May it give you a nice flighty feeling. Whatever flighty means. Hopefully it means what I think it does but probably not.


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